About to hit rock bottom

About to hit my low. My last check of the month is going to be less than $300.

Nick says we should have our own lives as in go out with our own friends etc. Yet I have a total of three friends in Tacoma.

My job won’t give me a 40 hr week cause we’re over staffed

And let’s add on how I flunked out of vt school

so I broke up with M but I’ve hung out with him for the past two weekends. i know we are “slowly” growing apart. He told me today that he was going to meet one of his friends and he wouldn’t have service. then I text my neighbor lady and she hasn’t answered either. makes me suspicious they’re all out doing something together, and i makes me sad.

i having that anxiety feeling like im right gah.


I’m one of those people who hates continuing relationships. When I hear “lets stay friends”, I run. I just believe I’m notstrongenough to continue to be friends with my exes. Once they break up with me (because I’ve never broken up with anyone), I just delete them from my life (facebook, phone, skype, etc.). I try and get over them as quick as my heart can handle so that I no longer have to feel the pain. …Or at least that’s what I think I’m doing.

Well, today I was back to my “home town” and I was hanging out with one of my best friends. We were downtown by the marina and as we were driving home, we happened to past b one of my exes. Actually one of the most important ones, my high school sweetheart. I’ve passed by him once before and it didn’t hit me as much as before. But today, it definitely has made me feel something strange. I understand that we’re too completely different people, but this feeling makes me zone out and start remembering things that happened so long ago.

Now, I don’t have any longing to get back with him or want to do anything with him just because of things that went down. But it’s just weird.